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Exaggeratin’? Maybe, but I swear, one chick said she’d only hook up if I barked like a dog—fuckin loco, right? Told her, “I’m Tony Montana, I don’t bark, I bite!” Sex-dating’s a trip, mang—half the time you laugh, half the time you wanna shoot somebody. “This is all we need,” Eve says—nah, I need a chica who don’t catfish me with 10-year-old pics. Stay real out there, or Tony’s comin’ for ya—say hello to my little friend!

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By the end of the night, I’m exhausted but happy. The tourists are dancin’, the vibes are high, and I’m feelin’ like a rockstar. I step outside for a breather, and the moon’s shining over the bay. Ocho Rios is beautiful, man. The sound of the waves, the smell of jerk chicken from a nearby stall. It’s like paradise.

PAJ accelerating Ocho Rios Cruise Port reconstruction